“Todo se cae por su propio peso,” this is the second print of my series of dichos. This dicho also comes from my mother. I don’t remember exactly when she told me this dicho, but I believe I must’ve been a teenager. The direct translation being that everything falls by its own weight. The heavier something is, the heavier the fall will be.

Since I was young I have experienced big emotions, some of them being revenge and frustration. I have a strong sense of what I believe is just and fair and when I see that people are not treated with respect and dignity the rage inside of me builds. Especially with people close to me or with people affected by systemic violence. I have always had a strong will, since I was young I have been challenging systems and people in positions of power. I admire the fire that drives me but I have also gotten burned from that same fire many times after realizing that these things are bigger than me. I have lost myself to vengeance and have been consumed by my own frustration to the point where I hurt myself in the process.

My mom would tell me que no haga coraje, that it’s not good for me. I have understood coraje to be a mixture of rage and frustration. I have been una niña corajuda- quick tempered, since I could remember. Those corajes have at times led me to be physically ill, bringing on fevers and maybe most recently a “mini heart attack.” I think that’s why my mom would tell me this and many other dichos. I am learning to let big emotions pass through me without holding onto them and letting them build. Not immediately reacting to these emotions has been something I have been learning for many years. In therapy we would talk about responding vs reacting and what was actually worthy of gaining a response or a reaction from me.

Apart from the definition of coraje that I have learned from my mother, the first definition/translation when you look up the word is “courage.” The path of an artist requires courage, the ability to believe in yourself despite the odds. Despite people telling you what you are or what you should be. Living with coraje has allowed me to speak my truth, even in the face of these “greater powers” that often try to intimidate me and others around me. Coraje has also led me to having the courage to do something when I know something's not quite right or fair. The same rage and frustration that consumes me will often be the same energy that I use to propel me into creating projects filled with love and hope.

There was a period in my early twenties where I kept getting the tower card in all of my tarot readings. At first I would roll my eyes and sigh. Not another change. Not another loss. I didn’t know how many more tower moments I would be able to endure. After several tower moments I finally learned that these moments were meant to up-root any faulty foundations and by doing so they create an opportunity for a fresh start.

Anything not built on a solid foundation must fall, that is the truth when it comes to things in the physical or metaphysical world. I began to explore what it meant to have a solid foundation. How I, myself, could be a solid person. A person that moves through this world with integrity and courage amongst my rage and frustration. I began to understand tower moments as an opportunity for growth. I like to believe that I now understand foundations in the simplest form; underneath the tower and a seemingly solid cement foundation is the dirt that existed first.

From that dirt, when the towers have fallen, and there is quite literally nothing left, I am able to plant the seeds for the things I actually dream and desire for myself and the world I live in. Now when I get the tower card, I brace myself for the fall. I no longer flinch and hold my breathe, instead I pack what I can carry and get the fuck out before the tower takes me with it.

I now understand that I alone do not need to take on the mission of dismantling the oppressive systems and people in power. I do not need to go out of my way to expose the truth or seek revenge. No tengo que hacer coraje- that only hurts me in the end. The truth will always come to light. And anything built on a faulty foundation will naturally fall and I can find peace in that. This dicho reminds me of these simple truths. It has become easier to let things go, understanding that nothing ever truly lasts forever. But if I want to build things that last they will not be built, but grown from the dirt that once held these towers- cultivated with love and care.

I still find myself amidst tower moments but I navigate them with gratitude now. I am grateful for the opportunity to learn these lessons and to be able to sit in this discomfort. I am grateful for the ability to know when it is time to leave, to pivot. My ability to dust myself off and try again is quicker- and for that I am grateful. I now lean towards building foundations for myself on the virtues of courage, clarity, focus, ease, and grace.

Alejandra Rubio x Sarai Montes - the most beautiful unintentional collab, THE US EMPIRE WILL FALL!!!!! END THE OCCUPATION IN PALESTINE NOW!!!!!!

The process of creating this print

I have decided to continue this print series on black paper, challenging myself and technical ability when it comes to printmaking. Printing on black paper requires the forethought of a white base so that the colors that I print over it can show up.

When creating this print I also wanted to challenge myself by making all of my layers by hand. With all the new technology and tools at my disposal I usually gravitate towards digitally designing my layers on procreate. I find it to be easier when it comes to referencing images, adding photo elements, and experimenting with what can be my final result.

But this print, this dicho, required me to work with it on a more intimate level. I knew that I wanted to use the black of the paper as part of my design so I made my first layer out of rubylith. This was the second time I got to experiment with this material and I really enjoyed it. I have worked with stencils in the past and love the relief process, and this just felt like a combination of multiple things I love.

As I was working on the tower with the rubylith I found myself reminiscing about all of the towers that I have experienced in my 26 years of life. I sat alone in Grafica playing Adele as it rained and I cried as I peeled the bits of ruby. It was a cathartic experience and I found myself thinking about what it means to connect with tarot cards in this way- through my work.

From there I drew the layers for the remaining colors and I consulted with artists and mentors around me on how to go about achieving a metallic finish to my print. In the end the print had a white, red, gold, and metallic gray layer. I wanted this print to be relatively large and so I had to print out my text and tape it to a large transparency to then print on a fairly large screen. I printed the white amongst my peers in Grafica, but then exposed the rest of the layers and printed those in my personal studio.

“Todo se cae por su propio peso”

The process of creating this print

“Hay mija,hay mas tiempo que vida…”